WEEK 3 RECAP

 

The end of week 3 is special because you really start to get an idea of what the League’s pecking order is. It’s usually also when trade volume really starts to pick up, though this season has definitely bucked the trend at the hands of Soundcloud’s benders.

I’ll start dropping in a way-too-early playoff picture next week. As a reminder:

• Division winners get byes

• Next 3 seeds are given out by overall record then PF

• The 6 seed remains a Wild Card awarded to the team with the highest PF of the remaining 5 teams (which, by the way divisions are shaking out, greatly benefits the Republicans)

Now, to the matchups:

WINGS (2-1) 126.9 - BRYAN (2-1) 125.3 Another week, another Monday Night heart attack. At least I was on the right side of it this time. Of all the hyped up matches this week, this was by far the one that delivered the most in what was a complete rollercoaster. Bryan had the early advantage off of a complete dud performance by Keon Coleman. During the early slate Sunday, Wings slowly chipped away at Bryan’s lead by benefit of Bryan’s own dud performances from his Packers and Jamaar Chase. The chaos that was the Rams/Eagles game threw a massive wrench into what would have been a commanding lead for Wings after a horse shit last second blocked FG touchdown that I saw at least 11 times afterwards. The late slate gave Bryan even more life after Jake Ferguson morphed into prime Gronk and gave him control over his destiny going into Monday night. Luckily, I paid an etsy witch to hex Zay Flowers and by golly did it work. The price I paid was having to sweat this shit down to the literal last 2 point conversion for the Ravens that was just overthrown to Flowers. This win gets Wings right after his soul-crushing loss last week and ends Bryan’s undefeated hopes. Though if we’re being real this was a mid-off for the ages and I’m sure we’re both ready to move on to who are our real rivals in this League.

GIO (2-1) 159.7 - ANT (0-3) 151.4 Injury Reserve v10 almost pulled off a grand upset, even with CeeDee dying and putting up a zero, but Ant ran into his other fantasy demon- starting the right QB. Future Gold Jacket Caleb Williams prospered on the bench while future Dallas Kia Dealership owner Dak Prescott stank it up with 2 crucial turnovers. Before this matchup, though, we were witnessing a barn-burner. JSN and Garret Wilson took the revenge game personally and both shined for Gio, while Ant also saw fantastic performances from Collins, Ricky P, KW3, and JK Dobbins. Gio now has won 2 straight after his government-mandated loss to the rookie week 1 and the reverse curse of 2020 remains very much alive and well. Depth is a massive concern (this dude had 4 defenses rostered lmao) but nothing that spending some FAAB can’t fix (EDIT: OK THAT WAS NOT WHAT I HAD IN MIND LOL BUT OK MAN). While it was wishful thinking that Tyler Loop could turn into prime Brandon Aubrey, Ant actually is showing some signs of life with a bench chock full of RB come-ups. Next week’s tank bowl versus Nauch will very much be a loser leaves town situation- no team has ever come back from 0-4 and only one from 0-3 (yours truly in 2023).

CHUCK (1-2) 137.8 - RYAN (2-1) 163.2 The boring floodgates have opened. Chuck was nearing 2024 Finals levels of tilt this Sunday as Ryan decided to choose his peace and wow did it work. With this win, Ryan ends a 0-6 losing streak to Chuck going back to his 2021 rookie season, quite literally his first win ever in this head to head. I missed this last week, but Bryan also ended a 0-4 losing streak to Chuck last week that was going back to 2022. Again, y’all will never be able to besmirch me again (with the exception of Gio cause he is by far too proud to ever do this). After this week, there remains one last funny stat in this department; Chuck holds a 4-0 win streak over Ant going back to 2022. The two teams meet Week 5. For the matchup itself- not much to say other than Ryan greatly benefited from his team-in-law Minnesota completely destroying Cincy and letting Jordan Mason feast. Back-to-back wins against divisional opponents are a huge confidence booster as he now looks to get his lick back against the dude who got him spiraling in the first place.

For Chuck, his pass-catchers greatly let him down this week because his RBs otherwise were cooking. However, a larger identity crisis could be looming for this team- who finds himself at his worst start in the Commissioner’s Cup era (P8 through 3 weeks) and a young, horny Lion challenging him for the title of top trade terrorist. While some may see him as broken, I see him as cornered and that makes him very dangerous.

NAUCH (0-3) 134.3 - ROB (1-2) 167.3 This was another supreme mid-off in the making until Monday night. To answer Nauch’s question, Pitts and Tet were very much NOT upgrades over Andrews and Diggs (ok no yeah Diggs is trash) this week. On the brighter side, Omarion season has arrived and did well to counteract Albatross Jeanty’s stinker. Still, he was very not out of the woods. While Lamar single-handedly won Rob the matchup on Monday, David Montgomery feasted and brought Rob into the top 3 for a consecutive week. In classic Rob fashion, he is currently 3rd in total PF but 4th in his very tough division. Can Mr. Wild Card pull this off or will the matchups start swinging in his favor?

SOUNDCLOUD (2-1) 113.3 - ERIK (3-0) 181 Don’t look now, but Erik is currently putting belt to ass with back-to-back P1s. He is atop the league in nearly all metrics- just 12 points shy of Gio for top PF. Jonathan Taylor is still a beast, James Cook makes for a terrifying duo, and Amon Ra made it clear on Monday night that he runs this shit. For Soundcloud, he has learned very quickly that this isn’t the usual bush league experience he is used to. After making a number of questionable trades, he was desperate to show that these were Galaxy brain moves. And uhhhh yeah…. These were apparently long-term moves, so I will reserve my full judgement for a future blog. Regardless, Dan still sits at 2-1 and 4th in total PF. Will history show this as a flash in the pan or the beginning of something special?