WEEK 2 RECAP

 

WEEK 2 RECAP

This was an action-packed week! Multiple matchups went down to the wire and fortunately they all had hilarious outcomes for the sickos out there who love chaos. The narratives around some teams are starting to form but as we know a lot can change between now and December. For now, it’s all about enjoying the ride.

WINGS (1-1) 132.2 - SOUNDCLOUD (2-0) 132.3

Been a while since I experienced the level of fantasy pain I did last night. Gio and I looked on in horror as Ladd McConkey was tackled 2 yards short of securing the win and the Raiders folding like a lawn chair leads to SoundCloud pulling off yet another upset and establishing dominance in the first-ever matchup between the two brothers.

I’ll need to live down that the last-minute tinkering of Keon Coleman into the lineup led to my downfall, but I should know better than to think with my willy on Sunday morning- focus on church buddy. Next week is pivotal to see if the defending Champion can show the resilience needed to continue his campaign or if the demoralization will take hold.

For SoundCloud, everything tipped in the right direction for him to steal this one in what was a much midder matchup overall since last week. Baker converting a massive 4th down with his legs late in the 4th and moments like that show why the Rookie has so much faith in this QB. With this hot start, he now looks to match Bryan’s rookie campaign that culminated in a 9-4 season and co-third place finish. 

ERIK (2-0) 223.8 - ROB (0-2) 180.6

Rob’s the only fellow who can match me on the pain scale this week, with another top 5 performance resulting in a loss and falling into an 0-2 rut. The Chargers thwomping the Raiders on MNF may provide some relief though. Team swag is finding its groove with great performances from Lamar, Saquon, Reek, and Davante. Unfortunately, he once again ran into Erik on a good week, with Goff + Amon Ra on a mission to beat the Bears into submission after getting embarrassed by the Packers. Good gamescripts from both his running backs put this match well out of reach and the only disappointment is Chase McLaughlin choking away a top-10 all time score on MNF.

After a fraudulent win, Erik finds himself 2-0 and showing that his team has plenty more potential than many of us gave him credit for. A huge early divisional matchup with SoundCloud awaits next week.

With the Republican Conference looking to be the stronger of the two early on (1,581 PF versus the Democrats with 1,322), it’ll be an uphill battle for Rob to make ground but certainly appears to have the tools to do it.

NAUCH (0-2) 122.0 - GIO 188.1 (1-1)

Nauch got a taste of pissed off Gio this week, who puts up back-to-back P2 performances and getting a well-earned win. Brandon Aubrey is cheat codes and is one of the main reasons why I’m glad we kept kickers. While Tee Higgins may be in trouble without Toey Ice, there seems to be plenty of pivot options for him. Having seen the man in the flesh last night, it looks like the spark is back in this team and I’m confident he will put the rest of the league on notice very soon. Week 4 versus Chuck looms.

Nauch, if you’re reading this, Hurtado is very disappointed that you left Drake Maye on the bench…. amongst a lot of other elite performances. Once the dude is out of his boba-induced trance he may be able to piece together a run. Still plenty of time to do it.

RYAN 121.1 (1-1) - ANT 116.5 (0-2)

Justin Herbert looks to finally be beating the “if” allegations and it came at just the right time for Ryan. I think we’re gonna see the Josh Allen effect of his massive schlong bailing Ry out more often than not and will help the team tread water as it addresses depth issues and the potential busting of Chase Brown and BTJ. Overall, something seems different about Ryan this season overall; hell hath no fury like a man with a boo boo on his Toe, and a week 3 date with Chuck may be the place where #DarkRyan comes out in full force.

On the subject of toe boo boos, Ant once again is fighting the demons of the injury bug with his star QB and once-upon-a-star RB both going to IR. I wouldn’t push the panic button yet- the bench has some good pieces that can’t yet be depleted for picks and giving Gio a loss next week would be the funniest thing ever.

CHUCK 116.1(1-1) - BRYAN 142.5 (2-0)

After catching a lot of flak in his power ranking assessment, I think we all owe Chuck an apology- he was obviously in the right keeping Bryan at #2. 

I wouldn’t be doing my job as a fantasy sports journalist if I didn’t give the scoop, but per sources Bryan employed the method of “shutting the fuck up” for this matchup to give him the edge. Now, that certainly sounds familiar…… anyways, the team was able to bounce back from an ill-advised last minute start of Jayden Reed with some credit due to Jamaar Chase for his monster game. However, playing against the worst-scoring team of the week certainly helps.

Chuck certainly didn’t seem to mind the, ahem, boringness of this matchup as the lad celebrated the big 30 this weekend! The team very sorely missed his presence, though, as outside of Mahomes and CMC the team overall laid a fat egg. Hopefully for Chuck, he can shake off the dust as the Commissioner’s cup is proving to be a tougher battle for him than in the last couple of seasons.